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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Ups and downs ...

Looking back at old photos in desperate hope of some seasonal inspiration, I started to question myself. Displayed out in front of me was my booth from my first “big” show. I had nervously required and submitted my application to attend the Old Glory show in Colorado and to my surprise was accepted. I was driven to fill an entire trailer full of new creations, and had even run out of room in the end. I found myself surround my artists I had only read about and inspired one day to be like. I found many friends and fans that weekend. It was one of my best shows ever, and to my even bigger surprise, I was voted Best Booth!

Looking back at those pictures, I miss the drive and the doubtlessness I seemed to possess then.

There seems to be a flow when one is an artist. When it’s good – it’s good. The creativity comes easily and I cannot paint fast enough. My head is full of ideas and the only fear is not to create all of them. However lately I have been in a slump. Perhaps distraction from the garden and the pain in my shoulder from all that work in said garden has left my creative levels in a bit of a lull. Lately our cool sunny days have me longing to lie in the hammock, and recoil from the studio that is only a few mere feet away. As a matter of fact, the TV remote is more often in my hand than a paint brush.

So now in the middle of my big “slump” I actually wondered if those photos were as good as it gets. Was I past my creative prime? Have my recent bouts of aches and pains put me in an unrecoverable creative loss? Or is the continued frustration of others replicating my work finally just done me in, I wondered. Or perhaps (and this is what I hope to be closest to the truth) has the decision to avoid pain medication while full of knots, kinks and crooks just got the best of me?

The creative mind is a peculiar one, and the one thing I often wish I could had more control over. I may just chain myself to my work desk and exorcise the doubt right out of myself. Wish me luck because here I go …


Blogger Carrie Huber said...

OK - so dear husband just pointed out that the painting in the front of my picture says "Forget your troubles and remember your blessings ..." Apparently the answer was right there in front of me all along! :)

Tue Jun 14, 10:47:00 AM CST  
Blogger lordblessu said...

don't doubt yourself....yes, pain can get the best of us but you are a fantastic creative artist. So many of us are lucky enough to stumble upon your web site and me for one just can't get enough of you. I for one just love you and what you paint. You are #1....let me know when you have things for my Carrie fix!!!! your friend Judy

Thu Jun 16, 04:34:00 PM CST  
Blogger becky jacobsen said...

HoLd On. ThE LiGhT WiLL CoMe.

Sat Jun 25, 12:16:00 PM CST  
Blogger becky jacobsen said...

HoLd On, ThE LiGhT WiLL CoMe.

Sat Jun 25, 12:17:00 PM CST  
Blogger Alyce said...

Oh are my favorite artist. If I could actually attend one of your shows I would be in heaven! Praying that your doubt clears up and your pain as well! Your paintings brighten my days.
Hugs, Alyce Kennedy

Wed Jun 29, 11:28:00 AM CST  
Blogger MJL said...

Your doubts and pains are so familiar it's uncanny. I have found myself in the same predicament for a number of months now. Being an artisan for many years, attending shows was more than I could handle but was the adrenalin that pushed me to move forward. I then let the reality of life and age-like changes take over and put an end to my desire to create, but then I look at your work and the work of so many other's and it helps me to push to get my act together and start creating again. You are an artisan that should never doubt what you do or are capable of. You are only as weak as you let yourself be "I say this to my self often"....don't let this weakness take over your life as I have, move forward and beyond this period of can only be as creative as your mind lets you and I know that you can do it...I'm pushing to get back what I've lost and I'm begging that you do the same...don't let doubt take over...Your dear husband is right..forget your troubles and remember your blessing, words that I appreciate and wish that someone had said to me, he is a keeper for sure. I love looking at your work and your designs are beautiful, you have a knack at painting and you need to embrace that and let others enjoy the opportunity to have a piece of you in their homes and the only way to do that is to continue what you are so good at... Enough of the pep, I'm getting to work, it's time for you to as well. I'm looking forward to your new designs. Take care and bless you and yours...Marcy

Sat Jul 23, 07:07:00 AM CST  

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