Looking back at old photos in desperate hope of some seasonal inspiration, I started to question myself. Displayed out in front of me was my booth from my first “big” show. I had nervously required and submitted my application to attend the Old Glory show in Colorado and to my surprise was accepted. I was driven to fill an entire trailer full of new creations, and had even run out of room in the end. I found myself surround my artists I had only read about and inspired one day to be like. I found many friends and fans that weekend. It was one of my best shows ever, and to my even bigger surprise, I was voted Best Booth!
Looking back at those pictures, I miss the drive and the doubtlessness I seemed to possess then.
There seems to be a flow when one is an artist. When it’s good – it’s good. The creativity comes easily and I cannot paint fast enough. My head is full of ideas and the only fear is not to create all of them. However lately I have been in a slump. Perhaps distraction from the garden and the pain in my shoulder from all that work in said garden has left my creative levels in a bit of a lull. Lately our cool sunny days have me longing to lie in the hammock, and recoil from the studio that is only a few mere feet away. As a matter of fact, the TV remote is more often in my hand than a paint brush.
So now in the middle of my big “slump” I actually wondered if those photos were as good as it gets. Was I past my creative prime? Have my recent bouts of aches and pains put me in an unrecoverable creative loss? Or is the continued frustration of others replicating my work finally just done me in, I wondered. Or perhaps (and this is what I hope to be closest to the truth) has the decision to avoid pain medication while full of knots, kinks and crooks just got the best of me?
The creative mind is a peculiar one, and the one thing I often wish I could had more control over. I may just chain myself to my work desk and exorcise the doubt right out of myself. Wish me luck because here I go …
