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Friday, January 11, 2013

In the rearview mirror ...

358 days ago I took a heck of a tumble.  It messed with my brain, my memory and my balance for months. The pain from the concussion and the whiplash disappeared after a week or so but the surprising post-concussion depression rendered me useless. Searching the recesses of my memory trying to recall just the basic of things was SO frustrating, and when combined with the heavy sadness I found myself in, it led to episodes of horrible sobbing on my husband’s shoulder, days and days on the couch and seeking comfort in the fattiest of foods. I had thought this was the worst of it, and so after being told to wait and heal and wait some more I did.

Needless to say the depression did nothing for my creativity. And so when I tried to work and did so with the deadline of a spring show weighing heavily upon me the fact that my normal process was different was not surprising.  The pain that I felt in my right wrist was more than likely one of the deep bone bruises I had, or so I was told.  But it lingered far too long, and symptoms continued to worsen leading to more frustration, more tears and even contemplating giving up the career that I love. 

And so began the long waiting game and plethora of tests that would rule out what wasn’t wrong in order to find out what was. There was of course even MORE waiting in between tests and in the meanwhile I tried to work only to see the pain worsen and the strength in my hand disappear.  I dropped things at random. A good day in the studio was followed by at least three days of recovering from the work. I had to give up bowling.  I watched too much television and sat on the couch far too long on any given day. I felt lost.

But on 12/12/12 I was FINALLY given an answer. It was a nerve conduction test that showed my little fall had caused damage and the nerves in my hand, but thankfully not permanently so.  So the day after Christmas I went in for surgery and started on another journey, one that will hopefully allow this artist to work again.  I'm glad I didn’t “Google” anything as apparently this process is going to be a long one and it looks like the studio will be quiet for a while longer.

My near future includes yoga pants and comfy tops and not-so-mobile activities. There will be more assistance from a wonderful husband who helps me shower, ready my hair as best he can, gets me dressed, makes our meals, and helps with all the other parts of my daily routine that I have trouble with.  I'm excited about each new improvement (no matter how big or small) and look forward to even more.

So now you are caught up.  I promise to post more this year and will update my progress. But right now I have a date with an ice pack.  Yes I can type somewhat,  but my wrist has told me I've done a bit too much so back to recuperating I go … I'm happy to have 2012 in my rearview mirror and look forward to a much more promising year. 


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