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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Avoidance and "shoulds" ...

I admit, I should be in the studio working.

I should be doing my yoga every morning. I should be taking my daily vitamins and not drink so much coffee. I should not let my mind dwell on things in which I have no control. I should allow myself the time to relax and refresh after a busy season without feeling guilty. A healthy mind and body are one in the same and lately mine seem disconnected. After a much deserved break my normal and healthier routine have fallen to the wayside. My chakra is out of sorts and quite frankly it feels like it.

It started with some baking and decorating. There was a bit of holiday indulgence, reality and a mental vacation with much napping. That was followed by some deep cleaning, sorting and separating and donating, which led to painting, some redecorating, sewing, paint purchasing and more painting, neck pains, more headaches, more naps, chiropractor visits and stiffness that led to all this TV watching.
(Which reminds me ... start watching the FX series DAMAGES!!! I cannot get enough!)

Where was I?
Oh yes - avoidance. Is that what this is?

Sometimes perhaps it is an artists best friend to evade burnout. Maybe it was simply my mind's aid to take a necessary pause. Whatever it is, I feel my body is trying to tell me something ... so I am officially giving myself permission to take that time for myself. Allow myself to watch TV and go to the movies (GO SEE GRAN TORINO! What a great film!). Allow time take in the works of Diego Rivera before they leave Omaha. Grab a great breakfast and not count the calories and wash it all down with one too many cups of coffee. Be present in any moment and only focus on my breath if that is what it takes. Let go. Take my camera on day trips and look at things a bit differently and record what I see. Read a book in the afternoon sun and even take time to nap if I need to.

That is what I will do.


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